The lost femininity
But I say its not the fault of the men. Its neither the fault of the women. Its a fault of our culture, of our society. We bring up women to become so independent, selfsufficient and honoring their masculine sides, that there is no room for a real man in a relationship. A masculine man will not tolerate being bossed around by his woman. Either he will withdraw and become more and more distant, hence escalating the frustration in the woman (who will see him as lazy and ignorant) or he will become angry and acting out, with endless fighting and competing as a result.
There cannot be two husbands in a marriage. That will only lead to problems. Even in a same-gendered marriage there will be a dance and a balance between masculine and feminine energy. And yes, if the woman wants to be the boss and ”the man” in the relationship, it may work if the man is ok with stepping into his feminine energy.
But most men, and women, are not happy in this arrangement, even if they do not know why. It leads to the woman loosing respect for the man, and it leads to the man feeling castrated as a man. And the bad spirale sets in.
But why is it so easy as a woman to step into the masculine, doing, controlling state of mind? Is it only training, upbringing and culture? Yes, that might be a big part of it, but not the whole truth. I think that if we go way back in time, women used their masculine energy to create a home and plan for their children, making sure they were alright. So it is not only upbringing, but a natural state of mind to use masculine energy in the home. The problem arises when the woman also use it to control everything that is happening in her home, relationship and life. It is exhausting to keep track of everyone and everything. And the exhaustion comes when she needs to step into her masculine most of the time, not being able to relax into her feminine essens and let others pick up the slack, in work, in relationship. Exhaustion comes when a woman cannot simply BE in the process that is life.
By recognising this however, we can open the door to reclaim our femininity. We do not live in a patriarchial world. We live in a world as we choose to see it. If women honour masculine traits, and strive to copy mens behaviors, or just simply value the corporate world, the economics and finances and the constant DOING of things more than they value being a mother, or the slow dance of nature, or the beauty of asking for help and relaxing into letting others take care of things, then of course we live in a mens world. And if men are afraid of being wild, masculine, strong and powerful, and at the same time neither trained or accepting the feminine parts of themselves - the being, feeling, flowing parts - then humanity is in big trouble.
It is up to all of us to reclaim our innate power. Its up to women to start valuing the gifts we have as women, the femininity that lives inside us. And its up to men to start acting like men, not being afraid of what the old type feminist might say.
The new feminism is here - and it is a loving, including, cooperating ”ism”. In fact it is not even an ”ism” - it is just a way to be human, where everything belongs, both the soft flowing feeling sides of our energy, and the more logical, doing, pursuing sides.